Introspection

Recently things seem did not go well in my live.First and foremost,I didnt perform well in everything i do,ended up in the 4 class of EAP is a testimony of my inability.Then i lost a book i borrow from library which cost RM 140.I seem to be in constant fear and worry,till i shun myself away from my friend and couldnt socialise well.This prompted me to do some instropection.I need to know what wrong with mylife.Am i in depression.Am I worry too much,or am I allow negative thought to be embedded deep in my brain? The worst thing happen in a string of event,culminating in my failure to get selected to represent Taylor in inter-varsity debate competition.After doing introspection for sometime ,here is the summary of what go through my brain and what inspiration i got from this session.

1) Thing may not go well in my live but it is predestined to be in this way because of a reason.Good thing fall apart so that you will appreciate it when better thing fall together.I got in 4 class of EAP maybe because that will give me motivation to perform up to par.I lost the book so that i learned a valuable lesson of responsible for thing not belong to you and bear consequences for your carelessness.I didnt get selected to join the debate team so that i discard my preconceived mindset that i am good enough and there is no room for improvement.Obviously,i am not good enough the mere realisation of the fact spur me to brush up my verbal skill so that i can be a better debator and subsequently a better lawyer next time.I may be one of the best debator in school and district last time,and i bask in glory of winning for such a long time till i am too contented of myself.I am only deemed to be named the JAGUH KAMPUNG if i am unable to compete with the creme de la creme.

2) I have learned that there is no use for mourning over losses and crying over split milk.Mistake have been done,ego is dented ,but if i kept lamenting,thing will not get better.i told myself,cheer up man,the game isnt over until it is over.Courage is the discover that you may not win and kept on trying when you know you can lose.If i give up,then i am a true loser.A quitter never win and a winner never quite.That is the everlasting truth

3) I have always view success as a source of happiness and contendment.That is why happiness is so elusive to me.I never seem to satisfy with what i get.I attach my happiness to material and fame.That why i never truly felt contented and happy.I have learned that,if we seek all the applause from outside,we has our happiness another keeping.Happiness does not depend on external condition,it is governed by mental attitute.The most important is to be satisfy with whst you have.Dont compare,comparison is odious.Act is you are happy,and you wil be happy.

4) I often feel lonely,like missing something in my life.After much thought, i initially taught it is the fault of my raging hormone.I cant stand the empty feeling when i saw the girl I like going away with other guy and most guy in my age have seem to find their soul mate.But then after much observation,i found that their relationship is superficial.Initially i thought no one understand me,but in time of my distress,the only person i can confide in is my family.I dont care wether i am chickless or what,i have my family ,that matter .I came to realise that admist indifferece surrounding where everyone is oblivious of my existence,the only person who really care about me is my family member,who i can turn in for solace in time of failure,who will not shun me and look down on me because i fell short of expectation;who are willling to accept me whoever i am,of whatever my achievement is.I have learned that i can only find solace in my family.I have also learned that we should only get into relationship when we really find what we want,not by spurred of moment.Why love if losing hurt so much? we love to know that we are not alone.

5) I have also learned that if we treated people well,they tend to reciprocate.I discover true friendship when my friend willing to share the money for the book and willing to extend their ear because we discover sincere friendship.We should treat everyone sincerly,as friend are integral part of ourlives.

Human are creature of mistake.No one is perfect.for me,the best way to understanf oneslef and understand one weakness and strength is through introspection.( This column is about politic,sorry for incorporaing my private feeling in this blog which initially designed to cover current issue)